the city-lit cafe

The Observer's Barbara Ellen v funny on people in cafes who self-importantly tap away on 'projects'

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2012/dec/09/homeworking-tougher-than-office-working

Nice piece by Observer's Barbara Ellen on how hard us self-employed work - agree about clothes problem though

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2012/dec/09/homeworking-tougher-than-office-working

From corporate bonding to tartan gonks: essential ingredients for every conference

This is a global fusion special that is now available across every native cuisine. While US in origin, and with many delightful American mega-corporation touches, it has yet taken on local characteristic that we all know and love. The following is the version taught to us by a UK corporate events manager and has some distinctive features to be found within choking distance of Junction 15 of the M 25.

INGREDIENTS:

* 100 - 150 people worried about what the difference is between smart, smart casual and casual smart and, if you're a man, ending up in M&S chinos and looking like you're attending a barbecue in Weybridge.

* Venue that should look as if it's been rejected by an Essex X-Factor winner for being too vulgar. Spanish-Rancher-Georgian with more than a touch of Ann Summers meets Lady Penelope's Creighton-Ward Mansion inside should be just right.

* Plenty of time - preferably over six hours and with 900 bottles of Badoit - to decide the purpose of a meeting is to communicate or to attend a team 'trust' workshop and wonder if a human pyramid is really necessary.

* Oodles of corporate buzz such that everyone feels the need to behave corporately, and this usually means: (a) ordering the same breakfast as your boss opposite and trying to spell out the vision statement in All-Bran; (b) looking stressed to show you haven't checked your BlackBerry for at last thirty seconds; (c) visiting a colleague's room to make sure it's exactly like yours and they haven't got more mini body lotions than you.

* Receptionist who can say 'trouser press' in twenty six languages, and is selling model vintage cars, tartan gonks and Jeffrey Archer novels in case you think your brain hasn't suffered enough meltdown already.

* Several unsuitable, introverted members of staff performing in front of everyone to enliven boring sales stories.

* Corporate bonding with the dinner from hell where you sit next to a conversationally restricted sanitary engineer and discuss blockages and what's in the creme brulee. And don't worry, alcohol is banned.

Enjoy!