I in love with Jamie OIiver. He say (Dream School for naughty children) that British ones dead loss and is only non-British who is working hard. I is thinking about those I works with in Crouch End and wondering who is working the hardest. Here is results (I include myself, in case you wondering):
Monika Kass (Estonian, au-pair). No one knows the Dorn Bracht stainless steel sink I seen with hand down searching for the used spaghetti. Looking after Tom, Bella, Theo, Fay and Sophie is full-time job even though I only suppose do 20 hours European regulation. I even does English Christmas and all the trimmings because Bella too busy in day spa and has forgotten about it (long story). My friend Kaja say if they not middle class with pink Smeg fridge they be given social worker by Haringey Council.
Mrs G (Irish, lollipop lady). Sorry I not know full name but very brave lady. She stand on Crouch Hill and walk out in front of traffic. She count pot holes and tells me look in them to make wish and I will marry X-Factor winner although all I see is Big Mac box and newspaper. All weathers she smiling and says government wish to cut back her job as she is not essential. I will write to Jamie Oliver about this.
Barry (British, stands around in people’s kitchens). I think Barry something to do with kitchens as he always standing around in ours and others drinking tea. He is doing ours for several years I hear, when he not suggesting I doing bad things with him on stripped pine. He pleased that everyone in Crouch End is moving away from the minimalism and now want country kitchen again as this mean he can stand around even longer.
X (Albanian, bad jobs with a J cloth for Bella). I not allowed to give poor woman’s name as she will be arrested as illegal person. When I too tired (I sleep in Fay’s old room: fit in just next to old computer and My Little Pony castle) Bella ask her for anything where you need rubber glove and Domestos and expect to find peas in funny places. She not mind burying Maureen the guinea pig.
Eric Bassett (British, New Age magician and assistant master baker in Budgens). I know Eric very nice boy and friend to Sophie but whenever I see him he is sitting on floor saying ‘om’. He not actually baker as we know them in Estonia as he only re-heat the loafs but he wear a white coat and funny hat. He make over-head announcements about good deal on cat litter.
Eroll (British, radio station owner and person who stands outside antique shops). Sophie says he has radio station on roof in Wood Green that police not like. But he also like to stand on Broadway with people visiting him. I not know why.
Mrs Awale (Somali, is too complicated). She living in church (evangelical, like lots of clapping) nativity scene at Christmas with son Ahmed because she has no money. They lets her stay on and gives them all the church’s Christmas presents, mainly gift toiletry sets. They now found her room but she must hold up sign that say ‘Christ is Arisen’ with email.
I rest my case, I think.